Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:

    Mutual respect

    Trust

    Honesty

    Support

    Fairness/equality

    Separate identities

    Good communication

    A sense of playfulness/fondness

All of these things take work. Each relationship is most likely a combination of both healthy and unhealthy characteristics. Relationships need to be maintained and healthy relationships take work. This applies to all relationships; work relationships, friendships, family, and romantic relationships.

What are signs of a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship should bring more happiness than stress into your life. Every relationship will have stress at times, but you want to prevent prolonged mental stress on either member of the relationship.

Below are some characteristic that may be present in your healthy relationships.

While in a healthy relationship you:

    Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship

    Maintain and respect each other’s individuality

    Maintain relationships with friends and family

    Have activities apart from one another

    Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences

    Are able to feel secure and comfortable

    Allow and encourage other relationships

    Take interest in one another’s activities

    Do not worry about violence in the relationship

    Trust each other and be honest with each other

What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

At times all relationships will have some of the characteristics listed below. However, unhealthy relationships will exhibit these characteristics more frequently and cause you stress and pressure that is hard to avoid. This tension is unhealthy for both members of the relationship and may lead to problems in other areas of your life.

While in an unhealthy relationship you:

    Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner

    Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person

    Feel worried when you disagree with the other person

    Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy

    Pressure the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better

    Notice one of you has to justify your actions (e.g., where you go, who you see)

    Have a lack of privacy, and may be forced to share everything with the other person

    Notice arguments are not settled fairly

    Experience yelling or physical violence during an argument

    Attempt to control or manipulate each other

    Notice your partner attempts to controls how you dress and criticizes your behaviors

    Do not make time to spend with one another

    Have no common friends, or have a lack of respect for each others’ friends and family

    Notice an unequal control of resources (e.g., food, money, home, car, etc.)

    Experience a lack of fairness and equality

If your relationships have some of these characteristics it does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. By recognizing how these characteristics affect you, you can begin to work on improving the negative aspect of your relationships to benefit both of you or leave the relationship.