Healing Waters Counselling Studio
Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships
A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on:
A sense of playfulness/fondness
All of these things take work. Each relationship is most likely a combination of both healthy and unhealthy characteristics. Relationships need to be maintained and healthy relationships take work. This applies to all relationships; work relationships, friendships, family, and romantic relationships.
What are signs of a healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship should bring more happiness than stress into your life. Every relationship will have stress at times, but you want to prevent prolonged mental stress on either member of the relationship.
Below are some characteristic that may be present in your healthy relationships.
While in a healthy relationship you:
Take care of yourself and have good self-esteem independent of your relationship
Maintain and respect each other’s individuality
Maintain relationships with friends and family
Have activities apart from one another
Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences
Are able to feel secure and comfortable
Allow and encourage other relationships
Take interest in one another’s activities
Do not worry about violence in the relationship
Trust each other and be honest with each other
What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?
At times all relationships will have some of the characteristics listed below. However, unhealthy relationships will exhibit these characteristics more frequently and cause you stress and pressure that is hard to avoid. This tension is unhealthy for both members of the relationship and may lead to problems in other areas of your life.
While in an unhealthy relationship you:
Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner
Feel pressure to change who you are for the other person
Feel worried when you disagree with the other person
Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy
Pressure the other person into agreeing with you or changing to suit you better
Notice one of you has to justify your actions (e.g., where you go, who you see)
Have a lack of privacy, and may be forced to share everything with the other person
Notice arguments are not settled fairly
Experience yelling or physical violence during an argument
Attempt to control or manipulate each other
Notice your partner attempts to controls how you dress and criticizes your behaviors
Do not make time to spend with one another
Have no common friends, or have a lack of respect for each others’ friends and family
Notice an unequal control of resources (e.g., food, money, home, car, etc.)
Experience a lack of fairness and equality
If your relationships have some of these characteristics it does not necessarily mean the end of the relationship. By recognizing how these characteristics affect you, you can begin to work on improving the negative aspect of your relationships to benefit both of you or leave the relationship.